I’m not afraid to admit that there have been a lot of people in my life who have been trying to hurt me.
I mean, who hasn’t experienced the same at least once? And we’re human beings, and we naturally try to find ways to take revenge and make their lives a living hell.
You know what a friend of mine told me yesterday? “The best way to hurt people who have crossed you is to show them how strong you are and how happy your life is.”
And I totally agree with this.
That’s why I decided to share 20 subtle ways to make someone’s life a living hell without actually hurting them. And I feel that it’s the best possible way to take revenge for all the bad things they made you feel!
1) Change the way you perceive their actions
Want to know what’s the greatest way to turn someone’s life miserable who constantly hurt you?
It’s to change the way you perceive their actions.
Just try to accept that this person is a bad person and explore the reasons why they do what they do.
For example, if someone has hurt or lied to you, don’t try to understand the reasons behind their behavior.
And instead of trying to get close to them again, turn your back on them and pretend that you don’t care.
It’s much easier for people who have hurt us to make our lives hell than for us to make theirs. Trust me, I know!
I know it might sound weird. Probably, you don’t understand how changing the way you perceive someone’s actions can help you in any way.
But we all have a different point of view on everything and I’m telling you, it really works!
At least, that’s what happened with my friend (ex-friend, actually) who was trying to make my life a real hell.
I just changed the way I perceived her actions, and now I can’t even remember why we were so close in the first place.
I realized she was intentionally trying to do this because her life was poor. She couldn’t achieve what she wanted and as a result, she tried to hurt other people.
I was just among those people who were available to hurt.
Sounds terrifying?
I mean, why would your own friend try to hurt you?
Anyway, that’s the truth. So, try this approach, and you’ll see that it really works!
2) Do an opposite thing to his/her actions
Have you ever tried to do the opposite of someone’s actions?
I’ve been doing this for quite a long time now, and I can tell you that it really works!
For example, let’s say someone has hurt or lied to you. You should do the opposite of their actions.
For example, if someone has hurt or lied to you, don’t try to understand the reasons behind their behavior.
And instead of trying to get close to them again, turn your back on them and pretend that you don’t care.
It’s much easier for people who have hurt us to make our lives hellish than for us to make theirs. Trust me, I know!
How does this work?
The thing is that doing completely opposite things makes them realize how bad people are and how great you are that you can do the opposite thing to them.
So, they think that you’re doing this to hurt them, and they get confused because they don’t know why you are doing this.
But by acting completely opposite to their actions, they realize how bad they are and how great you are.
And then they start looking for other things to attack you with. It’s the same principle of “What goes around comes around.”
3) Take advantage of your personal power
A few days ago, my friend, who was constantly hurt in his childhood, shared his experience about how he has been doing this for a long time now.
Do you know how he handled all of the stuff that was going on in his life?
He tried to work on himself!
The truth is that he found strength in his own personal power, and he used it to go through all of the stuff that was going on in his life.
It’s not easy, but it’s a lot easier than fighting with other people.
But you know what?
He wasn’t alone in his journey to unleash his personal power and build a strong relationship with himself.
Believe it or not, a modern-day shaman, Rudá Iandê, helped him learn how to overcome frustration and get to personal power.
As my friend said, he just watched his excellent free video where this personal shaman explains methods to empower ourselves.
To be honest, I haven’t watched the video for now, but I trust him on this and I’m sure it will work!
So, join me, watch it, and let’s understand how to empower ourselves together!
Here’s a link to the free video again.
4) Don’t be a part of their life
This one is more straightforward than the other two.
Stop being a part of their life!
It’s clear that this person enjoys hurting your feelings and making your life hell, and you know what?
But what if you just stopped being part of their life?
This person will realize how bad they are and how good you are.
They will start looking for other things to hurt you like they do with everyone else.
You don’t have to respond to their messages or take their calls, and you don’t have to meet up with them either.
When you’re not an active part of someone’s life, it’s hard for them to even remember you exist. And sometimes, that’s all we want. We’re tired of all the drama, the hurt, and the pain.
It’s not easy, but I have been doing it for a long time now.
I always try to be a part of people’s lives so that they will get used to being alone and then I can easily leave them.
But this way I’ve been able to get rid of many people who have been hurting me for years!
The result?
This person will realize how strong you are as a person to stand up for yourself and leave them.
And you’ll realize that you don’t need these people in your life.
You’ll feel great!
5) Act disinterested when they’re around
Let’s introduce another great method to make someone else’s life a living hell.
Don’t act interested in what they say, and don’t ask questions. Just nod your head, or pretend that you’re really excited.
It’s not a bad idea to take notes if you really have to; otherwise, just pretend to take notes. You don’t have to show them that you’re uninterested; it’s enough to act like that.
It’s better not to ask questions, just nod your head. You don’t have to ask questions to show interest, and it’s not a bad idea to pretend that you’re taking notes.
This method is not very popular because it’s not easy to do but I can assure you that it works.
First, the person will try to talk to you again but you must act like nothing happened or like they don’t exist.
You have to act disinterested, indifferent, and as though they don’t matter at all.
If they keep asking for your attention, then tell them that you’re busy and that you want to be left alone. It’s important that this person knows that you don’t want anything to do with them anymore so if they try talking to you again, just tell them that this is the last time they’ll see you or hear from them and then walk away or ignore their calls or messages.
How does it work?
The person will try to talk to you again and you’ll act like nothing happened or that you don’t care about them.
Then if they keep asking for your attention, then tell them that you’re busy and that you want to be left alone.
It’s important that this person knows that you don’t want anything to do with them anymore.
So if they try talking to you again, just tell them that this is the last time they’ll see you or hear from them and then walk away or ignore their calls or messages.
6) Stay silent when they try to insult you
Personally to me, this is the best method to make someone else’s life a living hell.
Don’t say anything when they insult you or attack you, don’t even correct them.
Just stare at them with a blank face and don’t move your mouth.
You can smile if you want to but don’t laugh or smile back that will make it worse.
If they keep insulting you, then tell them that they have no right to talk to you like that and walk away or ignore their calls or messages.
When they insult you, don’t say anything. No, absolutely nothing at all. When someone insults you, it’s their problem, not yours.
That way, they’ll have no right to hurt you. You can simply stay silent, and they won’t be able to hurt you. It’s your right to stay silent when someone insults you.
They have their reasons to insult you, but you don’t have to hurt yourself in the process.
And guess what?
You’re not alone on this.
No one will judge you for it, and no one will try to help you if you ask for it.
Everyone has their own ways of dealing with this.
There are many people out there who have done the same thing to others, so don’t feel like an exception or a freak.
7) Work on yourself and show them who you really are
As you can see, it’s not necessary to actually do something harmful in order to make other people feel bad about themselves.
Instead, you just need to show them who you really are by doing things that will make them feel bad about themselves.
You just need to work on yourself and find the real purpose in your life.
How can you do this?
The easiest way is to follow famous self-help gurus and use their visualization techniques. But to be honest, after using various methods of this kind, I’ve realized none of them actually make sense.
It seems like visualization doesn’t help you at all to empower yourself and find the purpose of your life.
However, recently I’ve found a better way to improve your skills and yourself in general without using visualization.
The thing is that I’ve just watched Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown’s video on the hidden trap of improving yourself. In this short video, he introduces a completely new way to find your purpose in life.
He inspired me so much to stand up for myself, find my purpose and use it to make other people’s lives miserable.
Just try it and you’ll notice how your mindset will change and make you realize you have the power to do anything you ever wished for!
8) Point out how much better you are than them
It’s no secret that there are many people out there who are jealous of others.
Why?
Because they don’t have what others have.
And because of this, they always try to make other people feel bad about themselves by making fun of them.
They don’t think that by doing this, they will feel better about themselves.
Instead, they think that other people’s lives will be more miserable and poorer because of it.
But you know what?
They’re wrong!
That’s why I believe that pointing out how much better you’re than them is a great way to make other people feel bad about themselves.
You can do this by making fun of them, giving them negative feedback, or even just being rude to them.
For example, you can point out that you have a better job, a better car, tons of fans, and a great personality.
Don’t be too obvious, but make your superiority clear. You don’t need to be rude about it. This subtle way to make someone’s life miserable can be subtle. Don’t go overboard with it.
But remember: you don’t need to make others feel bad about yourself in order to feel better about yourself.
Instead, you should make their lives miserable by showing that you’re happy and powerful.
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9) Try to make them feel as small as possible
I’m not sure if this one can actually work, but my sister often tells me that it would be good to make other people as small as possible.
Why?
Because she thinks that this is the only way to make them feel bad about themselves.
For example, you can point out that you have a better job, a better car, tons of fans, and a great personality.
Or you can make them feel small by reminding them what a failure they are at everything.
Don’t say it in a way that’s obvious; it’s enough to act like you’re very interested in what they’re saying.
I don’t feel good about making others feel this way. But I agree with my sister that it’s a good way to let them know they can’t get you.
10) Change your appearance
I bet this will surprise you but yes, one of the greatest ways to make other people feel bad about themselves is to change your appearance.
Why?
Because this does intimidate others.
And because of this, they will always remember that you’re better than them and that they don’t deserve to be with you.
It’s best to make changes in your appearance slowly and subtly so that no one notices it.
For example, you can get a new haircut, buy new clothes, or change the way you look in general.
So, it’s not a bad idea to change your appearance to make someone’s life miserable. You don’t have to cut your hair, or dye it; you just have to change your style a little bit.
And if you have a tattoo, change its color.
This will make someone’s life miserable because they won’t be able to recognize you.
What’s more, it’s a good way to get revenge. You don’t have to hurt them; you just have to change a few things about yourself.
11) Stop doing things they love
Let me ask you a question.
Do you tend to continue doing things that this person likes?
Then I’ll share something important with you.
In fact, studies show that “people pleasing” is a harmful tendency that negatively affects our mental and emotional health.
The truth is that pleasing other people reduces our self-esteem and makes us feel bad about ourselves.
That’s why you should try to stop doing things this person loves right away!
For example, if they’re sports fans, stop watching sports with them. It’s not a bad idea to stop doing things they love;
it’s not a bad idea to stop liking the same things that they like.
And if you do something to make them feel miserable, don’t feel sorry for it; it’s their fault.
12) Give them a reason to get mad
Okay, it probably won’t surprise you if I tell you that one of the best ways to make someone feel bad about their lives is to give them a reason to get mad.
The simple truth is that making someone mad is a great way to affect their feelings and take revenge in a more subtle way.
Why?
Because they will be too angry to think straight and they will take out their anger on you.
And because of this, you will be able to stay calm and act as if nothing happened.
And this calm state of mind of yours will drive them crazy!
So, try to get angry at them. If you can’t, try to make them angry.
And if you don’t have a reason to get mad, think about it.
Do you even need to really make this person’s life that miserable?
And if you don’t, just try to process your feelings and continue working on self-development.
13) Leave them alone
As a future psychologist, I’d like to share the greatest tip of all when you want to make someone mad.
It’s something I learned from my classes in behavior analysis.
You see, when someone tries to work on your feelings and make you feel bad, the easiest way not to let them do this is to leave them alone.
That’s because they will be too busy trying to work on your feelings to do anything else.
But if you leave them alone, they’ll have to think for themselves and realize that they are not having an effect on you.
And when someone realizes that, they will feel bad about themselves and be unable to work on their feelings.
And even if they do work on your feelings, it will be too late.
Because they know that you will just leave them alone.
14) Just smile at them
This is indeed my favorite strategy to make someone’s life a living hell.
All you have to do is smile at them and don’t say anything.
And even better, if they are really mad at you, just ignore them and continue your life as usual.
Now you probably wonder how this works.
Well, as a self-confident person, I always know that such a simple smile can be a sword for the people who try to make me feel bad.
And it works because when someone is really mad, they tend to be insensitive.
They don’t care about others, but only about themselves.
And this is why the simplest smile from you can make them feel bad and put them in a state of distress.
They will start to feel bad about themselves, realizing that they are not affecting you in any way. And that’s when they’ll be too angry to think straight.
That’s it!
They will be too angry to think straight and they will take out their anger on you.
And because of this, you will be able to stay calm and act as if nothing changed.
15) Ask them why they try to hurt you
If you’re trying to make someone feel bad about their lives, chances are that it’s because they have hurt you in the past or because they have a problem with someone else.
And this is why I always tell my friends that if you want to make someone feel bad about their lives, just ask them why they are doing it.
The truth is that this one simple question will make them realize that they have no right to make you feel bad.
And this is why when someone is trying to make you feel bad, just ask them why they are doing it.
Don’t expect that you’ll get reasonable answers but trust me, it will work on your problem and let this person understand they can’t hurt you.
Instead, that way, they’ll know their actions just don’t make sense to you and you will be able to think clearly.
16) Stay calm and don’t argue
Do you tend to argue whenever someone is trying to make you feel bad about your life?
Well, I’m sure that most people do.
But the problem is that when you’re angry, your mind is not working well and it’s hard to think clearly.
And this is why when someone tries to make you feel bad, just stay calm and don’t argue.
If they are really mad at you, they will try to hurt your feelings by telling you that you’re wrong or whatever.
And if you start an argument with them, chances are that this will make them even madder at you and they will use even more insults on you than before.
So just stay calm and don’t argue with them because it’ll only make things worse for you.
It’ll only make them angrier with themselves and it’ll be harder for them to think clearly in their anger.
17) Don’t let them know that they’ve hurt you
Can I be totally honest with you?
Wanting closure is something we all want at some point in our lives. But it’s always better not to let someone know that they’ve hurt us.
Because when they do get it, they’ll probably feel so bad that they’ll want nothing more than to apologize and make it up to you!
I know that when someone hurts you, you want them to feel bad.
And this is why when someone tries to make you feel bad about your life, it’s normal for you to want them to feel bad.
But if you let them know how they’ve hurt you, chances are that they’ll use this as an excuse for what they did and will use it as a reason for why they’ve been trying to hurt you.
So the best thing that can happen is that they don’t really realize how much they’ve hurt you and just stay mad at themselves.
They don’t see this as an opportunity to get back at people or be meaner towards others so it won’t work on their problem.
And that’s why I always tell my friends never to let them know how much they’ve hurt you because it’ll only make things worse for them.
18) Tell them their actions don’t make any sense to you
Believe it or not, it’s the greatest way to explain that their actions don’t make an impact — it’s not going to make them feel better or guilty.
The thing is that when someone says things like “I don’t understand”, “I can’t understand why you’re doing this” or “This doesn’t make any sense to me”, it means that they’re trying to make you feel bad.
And it’s so hard for them to see that they’ve done something wrong, so they’ll try anything that will help them look better and avoid guilt.
But the thing is, this will only make things worse for them because it means that their actions don’t make any sense to you.
So when someone tries to tell you how their actions don’t make any sense to them, just let them know that it doesn’t matter what you think about what they did — because it’s not going to change a thing!
19) Let them know how proud you are of yourself
Before we conclude our article, I want to tell you that making others’ lives miserable completely depends on how you feel about your own life.
You see, when people are miserable, they’ll always try to make others feel bad as well so that they won’t feel bad about their own life.
But when you’re happy with yourself and proud of your life, you’ll never show them how much they’ve hurt you.
And this is why the best thing that can happen in your life is to be proud of yourself and let others know this.
So, let them know how proud you are of yourself and how much better they are than you
There are many people out there who are jealous of others and try to make other people feel bad about themselves.
How?
By telling them how bad they are, trying to make them feel guilty, and by bringing all their problems to the surface.
But the thing is, this only makes things worse for them because it means that they’re making you feel bad about yourself as well.
20) Just ignore them and let their lives be a living hell without taking part in it
And finally, you should just ignore them and let their lives be a living hell without taking part in it.
As simple as it sounds.
The truth is that ignoring is always a great strategy to make other people’s lives a living hell.
Why would you do that?
Because when someone makes your life miserable, all you have to do is ignore them.
And this is why the best thing that can happen in your life is to just ignore people who make your life miserable and don’t take part in their lives.
This strategy works because if the people who try to make you feel bad about your life aren’t affected by what others say about them, then they will stop bothering you and everything will be fine.
Final words
To sum up, these are all the small things that can make someone’s life miserable.
That’s it.
And if you want to make someone’s life miserable, you can try these tips.
But remember, these are just subtle ways to make someone’s life miserable without them knowing.
There will always be that one person who pushes your buttons and makes your life miserable.
These tips may not necessarily help you make peace with this person; however, they can definitely help you make their life hell for an extended period of time, which is just as good.
So, keep in mind that you don’t have to hurt anyone; you just have to change a few things about yourself and the way you think about the current situation.