How Not To Get Irritated By Your Wife/Husband - Sadhguru Speaks! (2023)


How do you see an unpleasant spouse the same way you would see your Guru? Is this even practical? Sadhguru banishes misconceptions about this spiritual tool and shows us how to make use of it in the right context.

To watch this video in Tamil -

Yogi, mystic and visionary, Sadhguru is a spiritual master with a difference. An arresting blend of profundity and pragmatism, his life and work serves as a reminder that yoga is a contemporary science, vitally relevant to our times.

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This question is from deepika Sadhguru.

You said, in one of the version that you are, you should trick everyone just as you treat trick me, sir guru, you are a current after but I have one inhuman nasty creature in my home.

It becomes difficult to see you in him how to deal with him in this situation.

And how many years of marriage does this evolution happen or it's, a devolution I'm sure he was a wonderful romantic wonderful man at one time, I, don't know, in how many years of marriage does it become a nasty creature and how much role you have in making of a nasty creature see, especially if he is nasty creature, especially if it is.

So this is your perception.

But especially if somebody is a nasty creature in your home or in your office, or wherever you are you seeing something in a certain way is not about them it's about you? Do you want to keep your eyes your mind, your heart, your body, pleasant or unpleasant, you make up your mind on that one.

Now, if you look at him, I said, even that nasty creature, please, look at him, it's like me, I am not telling you that you have to listen to his teaching or take new practices from him.

No I.

Am saying if you have looked at me with a certain sense of reverence devotion, love, affection, whatever is your emotion.

If you have, please see everything with that.

Because all I am saying is you have a body.

You have a mind.

You have emotion energy, we're talking about your emotion right now, if you hit a certain level of sweetness of emotion at one point in your life, either because of your love or devotion or compassion of whatever you hit a certain level of sweetness.

This is the high point in your life.

Now you should not come back from that.

You must see how to go beyond that I am saying whatever was the highest or the sweetest are the most wonderful emotion.

You had make that the baseline.

Why are you coming back again? If you did not know certain emotion, then what would I tell you? Which is the sweetest emotion you had in your life.

My child, okay, see everybody has your child.

You've told you that at one time then I saw you sat here with tears of blissfulness and Lau coming out of you.

Then I said, see everybody as you're looking at me right now, because this will make your eyes your mind, your heart, your body and your very being sweet and wonderful.

This is not about him, especially if he is being difficult.

Then you are being well, trained, even if you go to hell, you will do well, yes, because nobody has guaranteed you have I ever told you I will get your ticket to heaven I've been constantly threatening you right here things will happen.

So you must understand this is about your transformation.

The problem with you is because you read, what are those? Well, I don't want to take names.

Anyway, you did read all those romantic books when you are a teenager.

And then you imagine all kinds of things you are not first of all straight with yourself.

Your hormones are working up shouldn't.

You look at somebody Wow can't, believe, she's.

So beautiful, he's, so fantastic he's.

So handsome is so wonderful.

Everything he does you bullshitting yourself, no, no, whatever they do.

You make yourself beautiful.

Now, even if they're doing nasty things, you are still wonderful.

This is different, you know, they're doing nasty things and you're still wonderful.

This is fantastic.

They are doing nasty things, but you think they're doing beautiful things.

This is a stupid nonsense.


Tell you somebody who was serving an Indian Army had told me this story, because we went through a similar situation somewhere else.

So at that time, he was narrating this.

They were posted in the northeastern region, where there's a certain amount of elephant population.

So he is a battalion leader he's heading about a group of 18 to 20 people I think they are marching in the forests.

And they see a huge disc our everybody backs off.

All of them have weapons.

Ok, powerful weapons.

This is an anti insurgency group that means they're fully armed and equipped.

They can shoot down at Eska from 100 meters, 200 meters, whatever they want, but they all back off because that's, not the reason why they are there, but he was telling me this because this some situation happened like this with one South, Indian person.

So suddenly there was one Tamil man in the thing who was a sergeant how well that he put his weapons down.

And he said, Ganapati has come Ganesha Ganesha.

And he started chanting a mantra.

He knew some Ganapati mantra.

He started chanting.

He ran in front, and he went close to the elephant, just 50 feet away and went down on his knees and started loudly saying, the chant the elephant looked at him.

What is this bloody fool? You know, calling him all kinds of names that he doesn't like.

And these people were watching.

This is some kind of a miracle happening.

The elephant is just standing there.

And this guy's on his knees chanting, the elephant moved so quickly and within less than two seconds or within probably five seconds.

He was upon him.

He just crushed him turned back and went these people were just aghast, and they just watching him being crushed.

Then some people pulled out the weapons when the person whom I knew was in charge of it.

He calmed them down because it's already dead.

The man is dead in one shot.

One saying this to you is elephant, will not do wild elephant is not going to do Pleasant things to you, because you call him a God.

You call him Ganapati and try to worship Him.

He is not going to do.

He will do what he has to do.

Similarly, the creature in your house, he will do what he has to do whatever his his characteristic.

It is just about.

You I am talking.

You are always thinking of life as a relationship.

No, no I want you to understand before you were born, or even when you were being born.

You did not have a relationship even with your mother.

This is going to be very unpopular peers.

People are going to pick on me, but please look at it.

You don't have a relationship.

You just have an existence.

The relationship happened because of your needs, you saw her as your food.

You went for her.

You saw her as the basis of your survival.

You recognized that quickly, you know, the moment a child is born handed over to another man or another woman.

And let them take care of all the child's needs child will immediately go to them this whole idea that you think it's coming to you because you are the mother and you delivered no heat is because of the needs you form relationships.

Otherwise, there is just existence.

This existence can either become conscious and live in a phenomenal presence and become available to it or just do all go on doing the circus.

Initially your mother was everything.

She was the most fantastic creature.

And then you grew up, you became an adult, and you saw a boy.

He was the most fantastic man in the world.

Then your mother came in between suddenly you started hitting her.


Then the man came.

He was most beautiful there.

Now he became a nasty creature or so you thought now you think he is the worst human being.

This goes on I.

Want you to understand you're making up, both beauty and nasty I am NOT asking you to make up I am NOT asking you to think whatever this person is doing is fantastic that's a stupid way to exist it's just that if you see everything whatever is the peak experience you've had make that the baseline this is growth you played the snake on the ladder game train train you played that game snake on the ladder game so when you play this game your intent is once you climb a ladder you don't want to come back you don't want to hit a snake you want to find another ladder another ladder go up that's a natural expression of life so once you know a certain level of sweetness within you don't bring it down that should be the basis the next thing should be better and better so when I said every right now you were sitting here with tears of ecstasy and love like this with me then I said let this be the basis don't go down from this see everything as this at least let this much happen if this is continuously happening, constantly happening then, of course, you will hit another ladder.

Just a little bit of time.

Don't come down that's all I said and please don't describe him as a nasty creature.

Poor man, this happened.

I think I told you, maybe one of these days only I told you I, don't, remember, but let me repeat this Shankaran Pillai thought, his wife is having an affair hired a detective and saying it loudly, because just to remind you said, I want proof against her so detective just waited outside the house.

Thus he left the house.

He followed her.

Then she went to parked.

And the other part went inside a man was sitting on the bench.

The moment he saw her.

He came running.

She went running, they hugged each of their held hands and sat down on the bench and chatting away.

Joyfully laughing.

He took the whole video.

And within a few hours, he came to Shankaran Pillai in his office and said, I got all the proof that you wanted.

Just in one day I did my job I have the proof he here.

Watch the video Shankaran Pillai started watching the video and said, no, I, can't believe this, no, no, this can't be I.

Can't believe this, no I can't believe, this said, what you can't believe it's a video it's, not doctored it's, just a video that I took just now he said, that's, not the point fool I, can't, believe, she's so much fun.

So after 15 days is over when the man goes away somewhere, then you will see how much fun.

He wants don't do this to yourself you.


How do I tolerate my irritating husband? ›

Coping Strategies
  1. Recognize that you can't change your spouse. ...
  2. Try to focus on the positive. ...
  3. Reinforce positive behavior. ...
  4. Maintain eye contact when stating your opinions and feelings. ...
  5. Be straightforward and clear in your communications. ...
  6. Make time to be alone together. ...
  7. Don't place blame. ...
  8. Be honest with yourself.
Apr 8, 2021

How can I get my wife under control? ›

How To Deal With A Controlling Wife?
  1. Speak with her. The first thing to do is to have a word with your wife. ...
  2. Make clear boundaries. ...
  3. Change your attitude. ...
  4. Seek professional help. ...
  5. Get out of the toxic relationship.
Jun 21, 2023

What to do if your wife is mad at you? ›

Here are some effective strategies for dealing with an angry partner.
  1. De-escalate and Neutralize Emotionality. ...
  2. Be Assertive and Respectful. ...
  3. Communicate Constructively, Understand, and Validate. ...
  4. Practice Patience and Compassion. ...
  5. Pick Your Battles and Think Long-Term. ...
  6. Reflect on Your Actions and Understand the Triggers.
Dec 6, 2016

What is the walkaway wife syndrome? ›

There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.

Is it normal to be irritated by your partner? ›

Feeling annoyed isn't a sign that your relationship is doomed. Instead, it can be a sign that it's time to nurture yourself and to honor your feelings. If you have ongoing irritation and relationship problems, consider talking to a therapist.

What is stonewalling in a relationship? ›

What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.

How do I resolve problems between my husband and my wife? ›

Couples can try the 6-Step Strategy to Conflict Management:
  1. Investigation. Finding out all the facts and being very clear of what the conflict is about is the most important first step. ...
  2. Choosing one issue. ...
  3. Brainstorm for solutions. ...
  4. Agree on a solution. ...
  5. Do/Carry out the solution. ...
  6. Follow-up.
Sep 24, 2019

How should a wife be treated by her husband? ›

11 Ways to Respect Your Wife's Feelings
  1. Listen to Her. Listening is one of the sincerest forms of showing respect to your wife. ...
  2. Be Mindful of How You Communicate. ...
  3. Don't Do Anything to Hurt Her. ...
  4. Provide For Your Family. ...
  5. Don't Raise Your Voice. ...
  6. Demonstrate Trust. ...
  7. Make Her Feel Secured. ...
  8. Make Important Decisions Together.
Feb 2, 2022

What does control look like in a marriage? ›

Control can include anything from emotional manipulation tactics to limiting financial access to coercion. Likewise, control tactics often start slowly and progressively worsen as the relationship intensifies. Some controlling spouses may show guilt or remorse for their behavior, but this is not always the case.

How do I leave a control freak? ›

  1. Assess your level of safety. For some, leaving a controlling relationship may just mean a few uncomfortable words and an otherwise clean break. ...
  2. Map out different paths and scenarios. ...
  3. Practice self-care. ...
  4. Reach out and ask for help — really. ...
  5. Understand that feelings can be mixed. ...
  6. Keep following through.
Feb 5, 2016

What causes a woman to be controlling? ›

Causes of Controlling Behavior

The most common are anxiety disorders and personality disorders. People with anxiety disorders feel a need to control everything around them in order to feel at peace. They may not trust anyone else to handle things the way they will.

What is the 3 day rule after an argument? ›

The 3 day rule after argument is a common practice in relationships where individuals agree to take a 3 day relationship break from each other after a heated disagreement. During this time, both parties cool off, reflect on their feelings/thoughts, and avoid communication with each other.

Why does my wife get angry so easily? ›

Her anger could be down to hormones, depression or stress, but unless she's willing to accept she has a problem, talk about it and seek help from her GP or a counsellor, then you'll never be able to move on. Sometimes a trial separation can help both partners to work out how they really feel about a relationship.

What is silent divorce? ›

"Silent divorce refers to a gradual slow decline of a relationship whereby two people drift apart," says relationship therapist Beverley Blackman.

Can a sexless marriage survive? ›

Can a sexless marriage survive? The short answer is that yes, a sexless marriage can survive – but it can come at a cost. If one partner desires sex but the other is uninterested, lack of sex can lead to decreased intimacy and connection, feelings of resentment and even infidelity.

What is the first wife syndrome? ›

Al-Sherbiny [41] reported the “first wife syndrome,” where the first wife reported difficulties faced psychological, physical, and social problems among women in a polygamous marriage.

How do I stop being annoyed at everything my partner does? ›

  1. Understand how feeling annoyed hurts your relationship. ...
  2. Take responsibility for the part you play in the dynamic. ...
  3. Instead of trying to improve your partner, focus on improving yourself. ...
  4. Be aware that when you express annoyance, you're being annoying. ...
  5. Remember: You are allies, not enemies.
Sep 21, 2016

Why am I getting annoyed so easily? ›

It's common to feel irritable from time to time, but if you feel unusually irritable or irritable all the time or on edge, it is important that you talk to your doctor as it could be a symptom of a mental health condition, like depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder, or a physical condition.

Why do I get irritated so easily? ›

Irritability is a common emotion. Many factors can cause or contribute to irritability, including life stress, a lack of sleep, low blood sugar levels, and hormonal changes. When a person feels irritable, small things that would not usually bother them can make them feel annoyed or agitated.

What are the 4 horsemen of marriage? ›

The Four Horsemen are four communication habits that increase the likelihood of divorce, according to research by psychologist and renowned marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph. D. Those four behaviors are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.

What is a backburner relationship? ›

According to the study, a back-burner is “a person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains some degree of communication in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement”.

What are the four horsemen of marriage? ›

The Four Horsemen, identified over decades of research by Seattle couples' therapy experts John and Julie Gottman, are: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt.

What are the five problems of marriage? ›

12 Common Marriage Problems
  • Lack of communication. Poor communication is a common marital issue. ...
  • Lack of intimacy. Sex matters. ...
  • Different life stages. ...
  • Infidelity. ...
  • Jealousy. ...
  • Boredom. ...
  • Disrespecting boundaries. ...
  • Stress.
Oct 3, 2022

What are three keys to a successful marriage? ›

Marriages take work, commitment, and love, but they also need respect to be truly happy and successful. A marriage based on love and respect doesn't just happen. Both spouses have to do their part.

What are five issues that spouses might face upon the breakdown of a marriage? ›

7 Of the Most Common Marital Problems
  • Money. Of all the common marital problems, it's no surprise that money is at the root more often than not. ...
  • Intimacy. ...
  • Undesirable Friends. ...
  • Household Division of Labor. ...
  • Parenting Differences. ...
  • Addiction. ...
  • Communication.

What a woman needs from her husband? ›

Women want a husband that they can count on, and this hasn't changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouse to be a lover and friend, but they also want him to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that he will be there and will be loyal.

What do husbands want most from their wives? ›

Husbands want more physical affection and touch from their wife — and not just sex. So cuddle up to him while you watch a show, give him a big hug and kiss hello, a back rub or some foreplay. Initiate sex! Make an effort to show some physical affection towards him consistently.

What a man needs from his wife? ›

Both the husband and wife need trust, loyalty, fidelity, and love in order for their marriage to work at all. The same goes for compassion, kindness, respect, and the like. There's a host of basics we must adhere to as married people, and I think most of you recognize and can name what those things are.

What are the red flags in a relationship? ›

Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.

How do you know if your partner is toxic? ›

What are the signs of a toxic relationship?
  • Lack of support. “Healthy relationships are based on a mutual desire to see the other succeed in all areas of life,” Caraballo says. ...
  • Toxic communication. ...
  • Envy or jealousy. ...
  • Controlling behaviors. ...
  • Resentment. ...
  • Dishonesty. ...
  • Patterns of disrespect. ...
  • Negative financial behaviors.
Jan 11, 2022

How do you outsmart a controlling person? ›

Here are several ways to effectively deal with them.
  1. Identify the type of controlling behavior. There are many ways a person can be unscrupulous. ...
  2. Dont believe the lie. ...
  3. Recognize the triggers and patterns. ...
  4. Carefully choose a response. ...
  5. Try, try again until done.
Jan 29, 2016

What upsets a control freak? ›

Control freaks can get angry if they feel things are not going according to their expectations. They can also become frustrated if they are unable to control a situation or if others do not follow their orders. It is common for control freaks to react with anger when their need for control is challenged or threatened.

How to outsmart control freak? ›

Difficult people need some extra care in the approach you take, so here is your guide to being free of the control freak.
  1. Spend as little time with them as possible. ...
  2. Use strong body language. ...
  3. Remember why they are controlling. ...
  4. Practice saying NO. ...
  5. Find an ally and sounding board. ...
  6. Work on your own self esteem and confidence.
Apr 12, 2017

What is the personality of a controlling person? ›

Controlling people want to have control or assert power over another person. They can be intimidating, overbearing, and domineering in their efforts to get their way by manipulating others. Controlling behavior in someone else can make you feel angry or embarrassed or even create feelings of inferiority and despair.

What is a controlling personality like? ›

A controlling person is someone who attempts to maintain control, authority, and/or decision-making power over other people and situations. Controlling behavior can include everything from directly telling someone what they can or cannot do to more discreet methods like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, possessiveness.

What are the signs of a controlling person? ›

Here's a look at 12 signs that might suggest someone has a controlling personality.
  • They make you think everything's your fault. ...
  • They criticize you all the time. ...
  • They don't want you to see the people you love. ...
  • They keep score. ...
  • They gaslight you. ...
  • They create drama. ...
  • They intimidate you. ...
  • They're moody.
Nov 22, 2019

What is the 3 day texting rule? ›

Popularized by the romcom, the three-day dating rule insists that a person wait three full days before contacting a potential suitor. A first-day text or call is too eager, a second-day contact seems planned, but three days is, somehow, the perfect amount of time.

How long is too long to not talk to your partner? ›

Psychologists say you should wait at least two months until you ask the other person to be exclusive with you. You might decide to commit to each other sooner than that, but generally speaking, eight weeks is a good timeline. Keep in mind that this depends on how often you talk to your crush.

How do you break silence after an argument? ›

7 Tips For Repairing Your Relationship After A Fight
  1. Give Each Other Time And Space. After an argument with your partner, it's important to give each other time and space. ...
  2. Feel Your Feelings. ...
  3. Use I Statements. ...
  4. Actively Listen. ...
  5. Take A Break If Needed. ...
  6. Apologize And Reconnect. ...
  7. Make A Plan For The Future.

What are the signs of good husband? ›

10 Signs You Have A Great Husband
  • He communicates with you. He never takes the importance of communication lightly. ...
  • He loves to spend time with you. ...
  • He makes you smile and laugh. ...
  • He is supportive. ...
  • He is willing to teach you what he knows. ...
  • He is loyal. ...
  • He acknowledges his mistakes. ...
  • He protects and cares for you.
Jun 18, 2015

How do I communicate better with my spouse? ›

5 Easy Ways To Communicate Better in Your Relationship
  1. Ask Open-Ended Questions. ...
  2. Pick Up on Nonverbal Cues. ...
  3. Don't Try to Read Their Mind. ...
  4. Conversations are a Two-Way Street. ...
  5. Set Aside Time to Talk. ...
  6. Tell Them What You Need From Them.

What should a husband do if wife is angry? ›

10 ways to make your angry wife happy
  1. Apologize for your shortcomings. When a woman is angry with you, try not to be defensive. ...
  2. Try to make her calm down. ...
  3. Listen to her complaints. ...
  4. Put your ego aside. ...
  5. Surprise her. ...
  6. Give her breathing space and time. ...
  7. Show her compassion. ...
  8. Be intentional about amending your mistakes.
Apr 8, 2021

Why does my wife's mood affect me so much? ›

If two people care a lot about each other, they are quick to perceive the mood changes, the vibes and the feelings, and unconsciously start imitating them. Experts say that just because two people relate to each other at an intimate level, one ends up feeling the same as the other partner.

How do I stop getting angry with my spouse? ›

Below are 3 powerful tips that you can put into action right now, regardless of where your partner is on their journey:
  1. Think good thoughts. We are wired to feel how we repeatedly think. ...
  2. Accept responsibility. Take responsibility for assessing your own feelings before presenting them to your partner. ...
  3. Let hope win.

What not to tolerate from a husband? ›

Demeaning statements

Things you should never tolerate in a relationship include not being cared about. After all, if that's the case, then what's the point of the relationship? Essentially, insults or hurtful comments about you, your job, goals, family, or anything else just don't come from a caring and loving partner.

Why is my husband so irritated? ›

Stress is one of the main causes of anger in a relationship. According to the American Psychology Association (APA), stress makes men and women angry and irritable. It can also make them feel nervous and anxious, as well as experience fatigue. If your husband is angry at you, help them to cope with feelings of stress.

How do you calm down when you hate your husband? ›

These 12 tips can help you get the ball rolling on some introspection.
  1. First, know your feelings are entirely normal. ...
  2. Try to name what you really feel. ...
  3. Walk it off. ...
  4. Make sure you're getting enough time apart. ...
  5. Pay attention to what's going on with you. ...
  6. Explore whether the relationship is still meeting your needs.
Mar 30, 2020

Why does my husbands touch irritate me? ›

He's not meeting your emotional needs

When your husband doesn't meet your emotional needs, you may feel disgusted by his touch. Being close to another person can involve both physical and emotional closeness. If the emotional intimacy isn't what you need, physical connection may feel upsetting.

What are the 4 toxic behaviors? ›

The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Relationship expert Dr John Gottman termed these "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" as they spell disaster for any personal or professional relationship.

What are toxic traits in a marriage? ›

Your relationship may be toxic if it is characterized by behaviors that make you feel unhappy, including disrespect, dishonesty, controlling behaviors, or a lack of support.

How can I control my anger between my husband and my wife? ›

  1. Think before you speak. One of the best tactics is to take a pause before reacting. ...
  2. Once you're calm, state what upset you. What is the more correct feeling in response to what happened? ...
  3. Use humor to release tension. ...
  4. Take a timeout. ...
  5. Get exercise. ...
  6. Practice relaxation skills. ...
  7. Don't hold a grudge.
Oct 6, 2022

What is the lonely housewife syndrome? ›

According to hooks, the 'housewife syndrome' was a phenomenon that actually referred to 'the plight of a select group of college-educated, middle and upper class, married white women—housewives bored with leisure'. Low-income women were rarely diagnosed with the condition.

What is the mini husband syndrome? ›

Mini wife syndrome (or mini husband syndrome) is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: your stepkid acts more like your partner's spouse than their child. Cool, another weird and confusing plot twist in your stepparenting journey!

What are the signs of unhappy marriage? ›

  • You Hardly Communicate Anymore.
  • There is Little to No Intimacy.
  • You Would Rather Spend Time With Your Friends Than be at Home With Your Partner.
  • Everything They Do Irritates You.
  • There is Emotional Withdrawal.
  • Both of you Have Differing Values, Beliefs, and Goals.
  • There's Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
Jun 4, 2023

How do you know your husband doesn't value you? ›

He is no longer affectionate with you, physically or verbally. He no longer makes sweet or romantic gestures toward you. He doesn't say "I love you" anymore. He still says "I love you," but something about it feels hollow or forced, like he's just going through the motions.

What are the signs of a selfish husband? ›

20 signs of a selfish husband
  • Doesn't express gratitude. ...
  • Prioritizes himself. ...
  • Hardly with you when you need him. ...
  • Doesn't accept his mistakes. ...
  • Takes all the decisions by himself. ...
  • The focus is always on him. ...
  • Doesn't know your interests and passions. ...
  • Shows complete lack of understanding.
May 20, 2021

Why am I uncomfortable with affection from my partner? ›

Being loved arouses anxiety because it threatens long-standing psychological defenses formed early in life in relation to emotional pain and rejection, therefore leaving a person feeling more vulnerable.

Is it normal to not want your husband to touch you? ›

It's normal for couples to go through ups and downs when it comes to physical intimacy. Women tend to experience the “I don't like my husband touching me” phase when they go through life changes or when their bodies change. Whatever the reason, it's ok if you don't want your husband to touch you.

Why do I get emotionally irritated when people touch me? ›

Many people don't like being touched by strangers. But haphephobia is significant distress over being touched by anyone, even family or friends. For some people, the fear is specific to touch by people of one gender. Haphephobia is a type of anxiety disorder.

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