An occasional argument is a normal part of any relationship, especially a marriage. It is an opportunity to learn about your differences and to compromise with each other. The problem is when one of the spouses has an angry outburst and ends up hurting the feelings of the other. If your spouse is prone to doing this, you might wonder: why does my husband get angry over small things?
In this guide, you will learn about the common reasons why husbands are triggered by anger and the ways to deal with it.
Why Does My Husband Get Angry Over Small Things?
Several reasons can cause a husband to get angry, whether or not it is directed toward their partner. Understanding the cause of such an outburst is the first step to restoring harmony in your marriage.
1. He Has Anger Issues
Anger management issues are common in men. This behavioral problem refers to a person’s inability to cope with the emotions of being angry; they resort to the harsh outward expressions of those feelings.
2. Your Husband is Stressed Out
Stress is one of the main causes of anger in a relationship. According to the American Psychology Association (APA), stress makes men and women angry and irritable. It can also make them feel nervous and anxious and experience fatigue.
If your husband is angry at you, help them cope with stress. It could be work-related, especially if they have a huge workload. Or it could be about financial issues in the family.
3. He is Unhappy in Your Marriage
Men are not good at expressing their emotions. Some hold their emotions in until they can no longer contain them.
If your husband is unhappy in your marriage, they may become aggressive toward you. They can become highly irritable over small things and get angry over things that normally do not trigger anger in them.
4. He Feels Insecure
Feelings of insecurity can cause your husband to lash out at you. He might feel that he is not good enough for you or that he is not providing enough for the family. These feelings can build up within him and make him vent through you. This behavior is certainly not encouraged, but you can use this as a starting point to address his feelings.
5. Could Be a Sign of Infidelity
A cheating husband also tends to get angry toward their spouse more than those who are faithful in their marriage. The reason for this is that they develop resentment toward you because he thinks his lover is better than you. The chances of cheating being the reason why your spouse is angry at you is especially true when there is a sudden change in your husband’s behavior.
6. He is a Perfectionist
Men who are perfectionists end up being frustrated or angry when things don’t turn out as they planned. This kind of behavior is problematic because there are several things in life, and in a marriage, which are beyond our control.
A perfectionist husband will lash out at you when things don’t go their way. The anger might not necessarily have to do with you, it’s just that you are the first one with whom they can vent their emotions.
7. He’s Suffering from a Midlife Crisis
Men who are suffering from a midlife crisis are also prone to anger. They may be at the point in their lives where they are far from where they envisioned they would be. This can lead to feelings of frustration because they think they are failures in life. They could vent this it out their wives.
8. Lack of Communication
Communication is crucial in a successful and happy marriage. Unfortunately, men are often conditioned to keep things to themselves until such time that their feelings boil over and they explode.
If you are at the receiving end of your husband’s angry outbursts, it could be a sign of a communication failure in your marriage.
What to Do When Your Husband Gets Angry Easily?
Determine the Cause of His Anger
Find out what the reason behind your husband’s anger is. You can observe his common triggers so that you can either resolve them or avoid those triggers.
Help Him Calm Down
As soon as your husband experiences his angry outburst, find ways to calm him down. It could be his favorite food or music. Use these calming elements to take his mind off what caused him to have an angry outburst.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Make sure to communicate your boundaries to your husband properly. Let him know that you will not tolerate certain behaviors toward you when he becomes angry or irritated. For example, he should not resort to calling you derogatory names or physically hitting you.
Be Patient with Him
You cannot fight fire with fire. You must use a gentle approach to relieve his anger. If you push him further, it will only fuel his anger. There is no way to talk sense into him when he is angry.
Keep it Light
You can add humor to the situation to ease the tension. Or you can also distract him with something else to remind him of something positive. For example, encourage him to go outside and breathe fresh air or take a short walk.
Have an Open and Honest Discussion
If your husband gets angry over small things, it is best to talk about it (only after he has calmed down). Discuss the situation with him and do it openly and honestly. Tell him how his behavior makes you feel and how you want it changed.
Seek Professional Help
Why does my husband get angry over small things? If you cannot find the answer to this within your marriage, it’s time to seek the help of a professional. You can discuss it with your husband, but a marriage counselor can provide a neutral viewpoint that will open your eyes to what’s wrong in your relationship.
A marriage therapist or counselor can help identify the problems within your marriage and allow you to discuss those problems on neutral ground.
Travis Atkinson Travis Atkinson, L.C.S.W., is the Director and Creator of the Loving at Your Best Plan. He has extensive training in marriage and couples therapy, based on over 27 years in practice, earning certificates from top-rated couples therapy models, including:*Certified Advanced Schema Therapist, Supervisor and Trainer for Individuals and Couples*Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist and Supervisor*Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapist*Certified Group Psychotherapist*Honorary Lifetime Member of the International Society of Schema TherapyTravis is a co-author of the latest schema mode therapy inventory, the SMI. He is also the co-author of two chapters in the recently published “Creative Methods in Schema Therapy: Advances and Innovation in Clinical Practice (Routledge, 2020) and author of “Schema Therapy for Couples: Healing Partners in a Relationship” in the Handbook of Schema Therapy (Wiley-Blackwell, 2012). View all posts
